Permanency Tip of the Week: Emotional Safety – Part 3 of 4 – Pay Attention to Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues
In our first two segments, we discussed the basics of emotional safety/how it is evaluated, and why emotional safety is so important. In this segment, we will address what we should look for that would suggest that the Youth we are serving is struggling with emotional safety. Cues include, but are not limited to tense facial expressions, altered tone, intensity, and pace of speech, muscle tension in the arms and torso, and the myriad of fight/flight/freeze responses. In our final segment, we will discuss how we can work with both the child and their primary caregiver(s) to enhance the development of emotional safety.
Permanency Success Story of the Week: This Dad Adopted Six Sons Out Of Foster Care | The Joe Toles Project
Joe Toles grew up and aged out of the foster care system. Over his life, his mission has been to help raise awareness for fostering and adoption of youth and teens. Here he interviews his son, Xavier, and they talk about their shared history living through the Foster Care experience.
Permanency Related Articles:
Child Welfare Alarmism Paints Unfair Picture of Families
Chronicle of Social Change – If we learn only one lesson from the pandemic, it must be that family is essential. Not just our own family or families that look like ours do, but all families.
We should not need a public health crisis to remind us of this simple and very human truth. Most of us realize, although perhaps may not always fully appreciate, just how vital family is in our lives. Relationships can be complicated, and we might not always get along with all our family members, but at the end of the day, the family is a source of strength that helps us become and remain resilient. When we look with intention at our own families, as imperfect as they may be, they are most typically a source of strength.
This pandemic has been a powerful reminder of the essentiality of family. Many families are spending more time together than perhaps has ever been possible as schools have closed and many are unable to go to their jobs and are working from home or out of work. If we are honest, for most of us it is a balancing act. With the uncertainty and the newness, there are highs and lows and likely alternating appreciation and challenge, stress, or anxiety.
Families that may not ordinarily have financial concerns are experiencing them now. Parents that may be accustomed to childcare and other supports to help them balance their responsibilities may now be without that help. Many parents are dealing with significantly more concerns and higher levels of stress…
FosterStrong Podcase – Episode 5 – Relationships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
FosterStrong – It is the presence of relationships and sometimes the lack thereof that make a difference in our lives. Hear from the team as we share about our relationships growing up in care…the ones that were saved, the ones that were left behind, and the ones we still hold close today.
Research Shows Child Abuse and Neglect Results in Increased Hospitalizations Over Time
Child Abuse & Neglect – University of South Australia researchers have found that by their mid-teens, children who were the subject of child protective services contact, are up to 52 percent more likely to be hospitalized, for a range of problems, the most frequent being mental illness, toxic effects of drugs and physical injuries…
“The research shows that the system is identifying children who are at risk, but there is not enough happening to support these children and their families early and as they enter adulthood,” Dr. Gnanamanickam says. The research found that by the age of 16.5 years, children who had at some time been placed in Out of Home Care (OOHC) had an average of 7.7 hospital admissions, about four times the mean of 2.0 for children who had never had contact with CPS. And the impact continues beyond adolescence…
“Clearly more needs to be done to support troubled families and this is something that requires an integrated approach that would see child protection working with the wider human services sector to ensure that effective, cross-agency strategies are available from early in life. “Not only is there an ethical imperative to improve the health and wellbeing of our most vulnerable children across the life course, doing better to address child maltreatment and prevent associated harms, presents a considerable hospitalization prevention opportunity.”
Medium.com – Dr. John DeGarmo – Each child is unique, each child is special, and each child is deserving of such love. My love for them is equally the same, and equally as strong.
My family has grown by three children, bringing our total to six children, both biological and adoptive. All three of the youngest came to us through adoption from foster care. One of the joys I have found is that with all six of my children, I see no difference in skin color and no difference between biological and adoptive. My love for them is equally the same, and equally as strong.
I certainly did not set out and plan on adopting these three children from foster care. Indeed, over the 15 years, I have been a foster parent, I have had over four dozen children come through my home, and only three were adopted. In truth, my wife and I tried to adopt four other children from foster care, but sadly, it did not come to pass, leaving all grief-stricken and upset…
The adoption of three girls into my home has taught me much and has filled my home with more laughter, more tears, and more learning experiences than I would ever have imagined. To be sure, there are challenges involved, particularly the fact that all three children come from our small town of just over 2,000 residents, and we do not know who any of the birth fathers truly are. Yet, these challenges are far outweighed by the gifts of love each brings to our home and to our lives.
3 Ways to Foster A Connected Family
A Fostered Life – If you have been a foster parent for any length of time, you have surely learned that foster parenting is both the best and the hardest thing you’ve ever done. The layers of dynamics and stress that go along with inviting strangers into your home and trying to provide a nurturing environment where they can heal and grow, while continuing to carry around in their bodies and brains the effects of trauma and neglect, is no small feat. To foster parent well requires a significant amount of intention, effort, and work.
Flourishing as a foster family does not happen naturally. Recently, I invited trauma and adoption therapist Lesley Joy Ritchie to be our guest for a Flourishing Foster Parent coaching call, and she said something that was so important: despite how hard it is, and despite how stressed out we can be much of the time, it is vital that we find a way to connect and enjoy one another every day…
One of the ways I have attempted to address my own weakness in this area is to create a weekly rhythm of family life that has built-in, non-negotiable opportunities for connection. This way, even if I’m frustrated with one of my kids or a child has really blown it, we still have opportunities to connect, whether we feel like it or not. Here they are! 1) Family Meals; 2) Family Movie Night; 3) Family Meeting…
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