Permanency Tip of the Week: “I Understand” vs “I Can Only Imagine”
When we examine our own life experience as it relates to Permanency, we may be relatively close or far away from the life experiences of the Youth that we serve. It is important to remember that no matter how close our life experiences sound, we have not experienced it in the way that the Youth we are serving has experienced life. When we say “I understand what you are going through,” we can negatively impact the emotional and relational connection we have established with the individual. When we say “I can only Imagine,” we leave it open for the individual to be empowered and educate us on their life experiences.
Permanency Story of the Week: On Deck for the Yankees, From South Korea, Rob Refsnyder
Rob Refsnyder, a top Yankees prospect, who was born in Seoul, South Korea, and whose adoption story has made him an inspiration to some adopted children and their parents.
At the end of all those baseball showcases in Orange County, Calif., the format would often be the same. Few of the coaches and children who had come together for the day knew one another. The director would stand in front of the players and call out the names of those who had excelled that day: the best fielder, the best arm, the best hitter. The name Robert Refsnyder was called out frequently, and as the Korean-born boy rose to accept his award, the people looked at him almost in bewilderment. The face did not match the name. “Yeah, that’s me,” he would say, laughing to himself. “I’m Rob Refsnyder.”
Refsnyder said he never had a big sit-down with his parents about being adopted, nor did he feel the need to. He did not even realize he was adopted until, when he was 5 or 6, he asked his sister why they looked different from their parents. Her reply was, “Because we’re adopted, duh.” He said, “Ever since then, I totally accepted it.”
Current Permanency related articles:
Welcome to Camp To Belong – Wisconsin!
Camp to Belong–Wisconsin, Inc. (CTB-WI) is a member camp under the umbrella of Camp To Belong International. CTB-WI connects and reunites siblings involved with the child welfare system. This includes separated siblings regardless of what their particular living arrangements are (i.e. biological home, kinship providers, foster homes, adoptive homes, living independently). Our mission is for separated siblings to build and maintain connections through a variety of programs. The main program is a summer camp at which children placed in out-of-home care can be with their biological siblings to build shared memories and connections.
Orphan Trains were precursor to child foster system
An estimated 250,000 orphaned, abandoned and homeless children were placed with families throughout the United States and Canada during the Orphan Train Movement from 1854 to 1929. The majority of these children lived in New York City and found themselves destitute for a number of reasons.
Support Services for Youth in Transition: Education
Resources discuss strategies to help transitioning youth achieve academic success, including information on goal setting, financial aid, vouchers, and more. Resources include State and local examples.
From the System to the Street
The sheer size of the foster care and child welfare system as a whole in the United States warns of the magnitude of the problem if there truly is a “pipeline,” into any type of crime. There are about 400,000 children in foster care now, and about 23,000 “age out” of the system each year when they turn 18, according to the most recent statistics by the federal Administration for Children & Families.
16 Things You Learn As An Adoptive Family
1. You will stress out. 2. You will never forget “the call.” 3. You will know what a “real mom” or a “real dad” is. 4. You will feel a unique kinship to other adoptive families. 5. When you adopt trans-racially, you do not become the parents of a minority child. You become an interracial family…
Trans-racial Adoption: Eating Humble Pie Without Dropping Crumbs
Adoption alone can be complicated, and it’s always bittersweet. But compound adoption with trans-racial parenting, open adoption, and parenting multiple adoptees, and life gets a bit overwhelming at times. Seemingly, the media, the public, and even our own family members and friends, can sometimes work against us, creating a constant, low-level of anxiety in adoptive families.
There have been numerous encounters over the past seven years in my trans-racial adoption parenting journey where I’ve had to remind myself that I can’t — nor should I have to — tackle adoptive, trans-racial parenting, or simply parenting, alone. Parenting is often quite messy. I’m not meant to be, nor am I equipped to be, my children’s one-and-only. There are wise, caring, and experienced people out there. They speak truth, exude wisdom, and offer hope.
C.S. Lewis said, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” Nothing has taught me how to be more confident, and simultaneously more humble, than adopting my children. And now instead of grasping at defensiveness and pride, I’m eating humble pie without dropping crumbs, relishing in every bite.