Permanency Tip of the Week: Wired for Fear, Hurt and Disappointment
When we experience something early and often in our life, whether it be positive or negative, our brains become wired to expect that experience to happen more and more often. This can have a profound impact on our Permanency efforts. For some of our Youth, their life histories (trauma, abuse, neglect and loss) may lead their brains to be wired for fear, hurt and disappointment in the context of human relationships. When we experience this in our work with Youth, we must step back and employ the trauma informed care principles of validating and honoring their experience along with helping the youth to feel emotionally safe. Once this is established, we can resume the active involvement of the Youth in the Permanency work.
Permanency Success Story of the Week: One Teen’s Extraordinary Journey to his Forever Family
Casey Family Programs – Some 30,000 foster youth will turn 18 this year without a permanent family. Called “aging out,” this transition marks the time when young people are considered adults and are no longer served within the foster care system. Without a permanent connection, these youth often face adult decisions — finding a job, a place to live, trying to continue their education — without the support or guidance that many young people count on their families to provide.
Casey Family Programs is committed to ensuring that no child in our care will age out of foster care without a permanent family. The video below tells the story of a remarkable young man, Cory Kercher, and his quest for a permanent connection. Cory was only days away from aging out of the foster care system when he faced the daunting challenge of finding his birth mother to finalize guardianship papers before his 18th birthday.
Permanency Related Articles:
Supergirl Deftly Explores Adoptee Abandonment
ChicagoNow – Portrait of an Adoption – Supergirl’s most recent episode explored an adoptee issue that needs to be discussed more often – the intense fear of abandonment…I love the way the Supergirl writers came back to this vulnerable conversation and created a second dialogue where Kara had to talk about her fears. Adoptees need to talk again and again and again and again about their issues, not just once, and this show is modeling the best way for adoptees to work through their feelings – over and over.
I think back to the days when I was a teenager, and the media portrayed adoption terribly through comedies such as Diff’rent Strokes or Webster. Thank goodness my daughters – sisters through adoption, just like Kara and Alex –are growing up in a time when adoption isn’t just fodder for comedy, but rather a complex and nuanced part of a family’s identity.
Is It ADHD or Child Traumatic Stress? A Guide for Clinicians
NCTSN – A number of researchers believe that symptoms of child traumatic stress could be mistaken for ADHD and that the risk of misdiagnosis is high. This is because there is an overlap between ADHD symptoms and the effects of experiencing trauma. Unless symptoms are examined closely, the profiles of child traumatic stress and ADHD can appear to be similar. We know that misdiagnoses are happening. Let’s help change that.
‘I Know They are Going to Die.’ This Foster Father Takes in Only Terminally Ill Children
The children were going to die. Mohamed Bzeek knew that. But in his more than two decades as a foster father, he took them in anyway — the sickest of the sick in Los Angeles County’s sprawling foster care system. He has buried about 10 children. Some died in his arms.
Now, Bzeek spends long days and sleepless nights caring for a bedridden 6-year-old foster girl with a rare brain defect. She’s blind and deaf. She has daily seizures. Her arms and legs are paralyzed…On a Saturday in early December, Bzeek, Adam and the girl’s nurse, Marilou Terry, had a celebratory lunch for the child’s sixth birthday. He invited her biological parents. They didn’t come. Bzeek crouched in front of the girl — wearing a long, red-and-white dress and matching socks — and held her hands, clapping them together. “Yay!” he said, cheerfully. “You are 6! 6! 6!” Bzeek lit six birthday candles in a cheesecake and sat the girl on the kitchen table, holding the cake near her face so she could feel the warmth of the flames. As they sang “Happy Birthday,” Bzeek leaned over her left shoulder, his beard gently brushing the side of her face. She smelled the smoke, and a small smile crossed her face.
Mental Health: 12 Things Adopted/Foster Children Wish You Knew
Psych Central – Do you have an adopted or foster child? If not, have you considered fostering a child or adopting a child? What is stopping you? What inspired you to do it? Whatever the case, adopting and fostering a child is one of the most difficult, intimidating, and humbling experiences for many families. It’s quite admirable…
8 Things to Never Say to a Family Who Has Adopted
Good Housekeeping – Adoptive families hear lots of things from friends and strangers alike. But many remarks and questions make these families uncomfortable, even if you don’t mean to be intrusive. “People unfamiliar with adoption may think they’re showing interest or support by asking questions,” says adoption educator Ellen Singer, a licensed certified clinical social worker with the Center for Adoption Support and Education in Burtonsville, MD.
“But some comments can be upsetting or damaging to families.” For example…1. “Which one is your real child?”; 2. “He’s so lucky to have been adopted by you.”; 4. “You’ll probably get pregnant now that you’ve adopted.”5. “Why was she given up?”…
Mental Health: 12 Things Adopted/Foster Children Wish You Knew
Psych Central – Do you have an adopted or foster child? If not, have you considered fostering a child or adopting a child? What is stopping you? What inspired you to do it? Whatever the case, adopting and fostering a child is one of the most difficult, intimidating, and humbling experiences for many families. It’s also quite admirable. Adopting or fostering a child (or teenager) will take a great deal of support from your “village” and knowledge about attachment, trauma, and patience.
These kids have expressed, with great forethought and insight, some of the thoughts and feelings below that we should all be aware of: 1) Don’t give me up when you cannot handle my mental health/behavioral problems; 4) I am afraid of everything and everyone; 6)t’s lonely to have mental health and behavioral problems and not know where they came from; 12) I just want to be a happy person.