Permanency Tip of the Week: Who Needs to Prepare for Permanency? EVERYONE
As we approach the Holiday Season / End of the Year, a lot of conversation centers on the basic question: Are you ready? Who needs to get ready in the context of Permanency? The answer is EVERYONE – Child, new family, birth family, providers, caregivers, social workers, therapist, medical providers, teachers, coaches, mentors, etc. No matter how direct or indirect your contact with the child is, you have a part in getting prepared yourself and supporting the preparation process of everyone else (especially the child). It does not just take a village to secure Permanency for a child, it takes a PREPARED village to successfully secure Permanency for a child.
Permanency Story of the Week: How an Ancestry TV Commercial Brought Together a Mother and Daughter After 53 Years
OC Register – On Aug. 29, 1963, a newborn baby named Denise Marie Mills gazed into her mother’s eyes for the first and last time…“We are saying goodbye for now,” Laurie Ogilvie Coburn, now 69, remembers saying. “You are going to live with a wonderful new mommy and daddy. But you are always going to be in my heart.” She handed over her daughter and walked away, the toughest walk of her life…
Have you seen that commercial for ancestry.com? The one where the guy grows up thinking he is German, only to find out – after having his DNA tested – that he is actually Scottish? He trades in his lederhosen for a kilt. Suzi Conroy Brown, director of communications for the Disneyland Resort, saw that commercial. She grew up thinking she was Scottish, Irish and English. But she knew she was adopted. So she wasn’t sure about her ethnic heritage…
If it wasn’t for that television commercial, Laurie and Suzi might never have reconnected. Laurie had seen it, too, and she had also mailed in a DNA sample. Laurie sent in her DNA sample in January. Suzi did it in July. On Sept. 2, Suzi got the email from ancestry.com. It listed her mother’s name – Laurie Coburn. Suzi checked out Laurie’s Facebook page, which was full of inspirational messages. So Suzi sent her a message that ended with the lines: “If nothing else I want you to know that I love you for the decision you made 53 years ago.”
And Laurie responded: “My dear Suzi I just opened your message and felt my heart fall to my feet. I gave you up for adoption 53 years ago out of love. I have loved you all your life. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my heart. I dreamed that this day would come. God heard my prayers”…
Suzi had wanted to know if Laurie had ever thought of her after giving her up for adoption. Laurie showed her a 53-year-old Polaroid picture of Denise Marie Mills, taken by someone at the adoption agency a few days after she was born. Laurie had kept it all these years. And when it started to fade, she made copies. Just in case she got to meet that little girl someday.
Current Permanency Related Articles:
US Dept. of Health and Human Services – Administration for Children and Families – This year’s initiative focuses on the adoption of older youth in foster care — a population that needs the unconditional love and permanence of a family, but often faces some of the strongest barriers to adoption. Visit the 2016 National Adoption Month website for information and resources to help you promote permanency for older youth in foster care.
Dispelling the Myths of Foster Care Adoption
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption Celebrates National Adoption Month – Have you ever thought about adoption, but are not sure it’s the right choice for you or your family? You’re far from alone; 81.5 million Americans have considered adoption. Becoming a child’s legal guardian is a significant commitment, but it’s also an opportunity to provide vital love and support to one of the 100,000 children in foster care waiting for a family…Unfortunately, there are a number of common myths and inaccuracies that can make the prospect of foster care adoption more intimidating than it should be for some people who could provide wonderful homes to deserving children.
These boys and girls aren’t unadoptable, they just aren’t adopted – waiting for a family to welcome them into their homes. … Because if just 1 out of every 500 adults who has considered adoption made the commitment to becoming an adoptive parent, every child currently waiting for a permanent home would have one. To learn more about foster care adoption visit the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.
When You’re Ready to Adopt but Your Partner Isn’t
She Knows – When a couple gets pregnant, often there is one partner who is already in the ‘parenting mindset’ before the other. As an adoption consultant, I see the same thing in the adoption process. In fact, it would be unusual for two people to have the exact same outlook at the exact same time. It’s more typical for one spouse to be comfortable moving ahead with adoption before the other one. I speak to many prospective parents who are not emotionally on the same page during the process — or, sometimes, even when the baby is placed with them. To help parents overcome the early challenges of adoptive parenthood, here are some tips to help motivate each other…Throughout the entire process, remember that it’s OK to not be in complete alignment every step of the way. It can even lead to healthy conversations during which you may both learn some new perspectives. But the key is to keep communicating. Even if you’re not on the same page, you need to both be reading the same book.
Chicago Now – 30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days, – What are the A B C’s of adoption? For the purpose of this post, the A B C’s of adoption are Acceptance, Being there, and Communication. For other purposes, they may be other things, depending on what the person wants them to be, but to me, these are the three most basic things in an adoptive household…So help build a great relationship. Remember the three basics: acceptance, being there, and communication. You’ll never go wrong with this!
How ‘Vicarious Trauma’ is Passed Down From Parent to Child in Military Families
Health Medicine Network – When retired soldier Jacqueline Buckley sees her four-year-old grandson get angry, she can’t help but think of her own capacity to explode with rage. She also thinks of the fury that can be unleashed by his mother, her daughter. Information Gateway Resource: Working With Military Families. Meaningful, doable ways to support veterans, members of the military and their families.
Parenting Children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorders: How Important Are Pre-Emptive Strategies?
Parent Herald – A new study conducted by a research team from the University of Rochester in New York found that educating families and caregivers with children who have fetal alcohol spectrum disorders are highly important, PsychCentral reported. The researchers said that parents who attribute their kids’ misbehavior to their FASD tend to use pre-emptive strategies more. These strategies are designed to prevent these children’s negative behaviors.