Permanency Tip of the Week: Why do they say ‘I am not Ready’ for Permanency?
Last week, we discussed how humans always need Permanency, sometimes it is really hard to accept / embrace. When we present the opportunity for Permanency, what we are asking of a Youth (from their perspective) is to transition the responsibility for their physical / emotional survival from themselves to another person. What we are asking of them (from our perspective) is to join this awesome loving family. In spite of all the challenges that they may have experienced and continue to experience, our Youth are still successful at ensuring their own survival. Let’s normalize and empathize with our Youth when they appear hesitant to embrace Permanency. Given the magnitude of the decision they are facing, I think any of us would be at least a little fearful.
Permanency Success Story of the Week: I Wasn’t The Odd Man Out. I Was Right Where I Belonged
Chicago Now – Portrait of an Adoption – Several years ago, Reba McEntire had a song on the radio called “I’m A Survivor.” The opening lines of the song always struck me….I was born three months too early, doctor gave me thirty days, but I must have had my momma’s will, and God’s amazing grace….
My biological mother is one tough cookie. She’s proven it. She had me, eleven weeks early, when she was just barely sixteen. And she did the best she could and gave me a wonderful family. She put me up for adoption. My parents … my parents are even tougher. My Mom and Dad chose to take on a child that wasn’t biologically theirs. My parents thought they couldn’t have children. Surprise, surprise! Two years after I was adopted, my younger brother was born, then two years later, my younger sister. So my parents had me, and two biological children.
My Dad and my Mom shaped my entire life. They gave me everything they possibly could. They are my parents and without their love and guidance and support, I never would have made it. I cannot say enough how thankful blessed I am to have the parents I have. I’m the lucky one. I spent a lot of years, frustration, and tears trying to fit into a mold that I thought my family wanted or my biological family wanted of me, only to find out that I’m loved just the way I am. I don’t need to fit into any mold because I was molded to perfection for God. There’s so much that I am unable to say, so many words that I don’t want misconstrued or feelings misinterpreted. So I will end with this…
“I was chosen. I was wanted. I was cherished. I grew in their hearts. I was the missing piece. I was loved. I was adopted.”
Current Permanency Related Articles:
Webinar – The Voice of the Adopted Child – Thu, Dec 15, 2016 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM PST; 1:00pm – 2:00pm EST
Children’s Aid Society – When we talk with foster and adopted youth, it never fails that one of the over-arching themes is that they don’t feel listened to or fully understood. With a focus on the adoptee’s perspective, this webinar will provide a foundation for understanding common, yet important issues encountered by adopted children in order to better equip and empower adults to meet their needs. Taught by two adult adoptees who also work professionally in this field, this webinar will take a closer look at some themes that many adopted children wish their parents knew. Although this webinar will be geared toward parents and families, it will also be relevant to professional social workers and other clinicians serving adopted children.
Data Show youth Aging Out of Foster Care Face Greater Barriers to Adult Success
U.S. Administration for Children and Families – Newly released data show that youth aging out of foster care are faring well in some outcome measures but a significant number experience homelessness, early parenthood and lack of medical insurance. By age 21, young people surveyed reported positive gains in many protective factors, yet there is evidence that current and former foster youth continue to face challenges that can be barriers to adult independence.
Learning Collective for Expectant, Parenting Youth in Foster Care
Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP) – In March 2015, after several years of working with the Annie E. Casey Foundation to shed light on the varied and unmet needs of expectant and parenting youth in foster care and their young children, the Center for the Study of Social Policy (CSSP) established the Expectant and Parenting Youth in Foster Care Learning Collective (the Collective). Following CSSP’s examination of research, conversation with national and local experts, and working directly with jurisdictions to serve this population of youth, CSSP identified a number of policy and practice proposals necessary to improve outcomes for these young families.
Involving and Empowering Older Youth
U.S. Administration for Children and Families – There are different reasons child welfare and adoption professionals may find it difficult to discuss adoption or permanency with youth in foster care in clear, meaningful ways. Perhaps a young person was initially resistant to the idea, or maybe there were concerns about available families interested in adopting older youth. Regardless of the challenges, youth should be actively involved in any process or decision that involves them and their input should be sought out on an ongoing basis.
This section explores resources and information to help you involve youth in ongoing conversations about the importance of having a wide support system, including family, mentors, and friends, throughout their entire lives: 1) Youth engagement to promote well-being and permanency; 2) Listening to the voice of youth to improve practice; 3) 2016 National Adoption Month webinar
Growing up in the foster system can make you feel like you’re living life at a disadvantage. I know because I’ve done it. I was in Florida’s foster system twice — for a year starting when I was six, and then for six years starting when I was 12. My girlfriend asks me all the time how I dealt with spending so much time in foster care. And I always tell her that I just didn’t know there was any other way. To me, all of it — foster care, my parents being in jail, moving from house to house to house to house — was normal.
When I signed with the Chiefs as an undrafted free agent two years later — and then had early success on the field — I suddenly had the resources to give back. I saw the impact my teammates were making with their charitable organizations, and I wanted to do the same. I thought of my sisters. I hadn’t been able to help them, but now I suddenly had the ability to help the countless others like them. That’s why, this year, my foundation is launching a scholarship program for kids who spent at least two years in foster care but didn’t age out of it.
I have the chance, even the obligation, to show kids that where you come from doesn’t have to determine where you end up. I’m a little nervous, because I’ve never done anything like this before. But I know how much just a little bit of help — and a little bit of luck — can turn someone’s life around.
National Foster Parent Association (NFPA) – The foster care system has failed to keep pace with changing family life styles. Fewer stay-at-home moms are available when both parents work. In addition, families have become more urban. Changing jobs, more moving, and longer commuting times reflect life in the city. Fewer people reside in long-term communities. Neighborhood support has diminished. As a result, the recruitment and retention of foster families has become more difficult. Foster families are key players along the road to permanence…
We are currently facing a shortage of available foster homes. The first remedy is prevention: Maintain the birth home when safety can be assured and monitor the case plan weekly to shorten the time in foster care. What can be done to reverse the loss of foster families? Both traditional and new recruitment strategies have been suggested, along with four innovative approaches that might make fostering more attractive and our system more effective. The easiest path is to do nothing. Change always involves difficulties. If the issue is important and critical, however, and the will is there, a way can be found.